Keeping Score

Today's post is for my own benefit, I want this information to be recorded.
When John and I were first married I made conscious efforts to set a good foundation for the rest of our marriage. I had heard people say the first year sets the tone and habits for the rest of the marriage (I guess this is true to some degree). I will agree though that the first year has some adjusting to it. One day John was making the bed, he was not making the bed the way that I would. I knew at that point I had a choice to make that would impact the rest of our lives, I could appreciate that he was making the bed or I could go over to him and show him "the correct way" of making a bed. I knew if I did correct him his feelings would be hurt and I would forever be the one to make the bed, who knows he may even stop doing other nice things for me like the dishes or folding towels, on the other hand if I accepted that there were multiple ways of making a bed and show him appreciation I would be helping build him up and he would then continue to help me out around the house. That day I made a choice that I will forever be grateful I did. I told John that I appreciated him making the bed and all the other things that he helps me with around the house. John continues to make the bed as well as folds towels and does dishes.

Another lesson learned at the beginning was to not keep score. I was listening to the Bon Jovi song (playing now) called 'Til We Ain't Strangers Anymore' and there is a line that says "It would be so easy to spend your whole ____ life just keeping score". After I heard the words I realized what I had been doing, I had been keeping score on who did what for who last. I was exhausted and forgetting to be in love (it isn't easy to keep score without a referee). I stopped keeping score and I have just been happy loving my wonderful husband. I am so grateful for him, I am always blown away that Heavenly Father saved such and unselfish wonderful man for me. I tell John that because we are so happily married He had to give us the trial of fires and leaks, He had to give us something to keep us from getting bored.

If you are still reading I will share with you one other lesson that I am so glad I learned that first year. John and I were making the bed together and he told me how he hates when someone asks him to do something then when he does it they go and re-do it. I agreed with him and at that moment we both decided that whenever someone does something for the other person we would not go and re-do, but instead appreciate what was done, this rule with also apply to children when we are blessed with them.