These days only happen once

Most of you are fans or at least know Nie Nie Dialogues, as for myself I never knew about her story until moving to AZ and even then I have never been one to follow it. This morning I clicked over to her blog and read some about some of her day and then watched a short interview of her in her home.
As she spoke of her children and her determination to continue on, even when days are hard my heart was touched. I love seeing woman who find joy in the everyday. Often times I feel I should be ashamed for my life long childhood dream of becoming a mother. Before pregnancy I had friends tell me that we had to hold strong and not give into the desire to have children. I would respond to them by sharing my dream and ever growing desire to become a mother. The other day my sister of two beautiful children carelessly said maybe she should have kept her professional job rather than stay home with her children. Both her and I were surprised by my response when I became defensive. I guess it is because there are mothers out there who for what ever reason have to work out of the home, women who would love to be able to find joy in the mundane things of their children's childhood. For the past year and a half I have been blessed to be able to work in my home. I have been very grateful for my job that allows me to make being a wife and future mother my main priority.
With John not having a job since September some days are difficult, but before I get too discouraged a small voice reminds me that I will never have these days to live over again. We will soon have a baby in our home and our focus on each other will adjust, eventually John will be working outside the home and I will see less of him. One of these days I will have more than two sleeping positions to choose from but I will also not be able to feel every tiny movement this precious baby makes. I guess what I am trying to say is that the hardships of today will eventually end but so will all the cherish able moments that come along with them. I love these moments and I don't want to look back one day and realize I chose not to experience them.